I am thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend because she wants to get married. Am I wrong?
I’m not a particularly religious person so I really don’t see the point of marriage.
Why not just move in with your girlfriend? You can even get his and her’s commitment or promise rings if that floats your boat.
Marriage doesn’t guarantee commitment anyway.
If you just get engaged and never marry for example, you can have all of the benefits of marriage without any of the drawbacks such as a lengthy and costly divorce etc.
I can’t think of one practical benefit of marriage over a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship except for maybe some minor tax benefits.
You can live together.
You can be in a committed life long relationship.
You can make love and be in love.
You can even go to court to change your name if you’re hardcore.
You can have children etc…
If you are in a long term committed relationship and things turn sour, then you can move on with some dignity.
If you are married and things turn sour then you can either:
A) gets divorced and risk 1/2 your money, assets, pension etc…
b) Stay trapped in a loveless empty marriage until “death do you part”
Additionally, I happen to be in the military and if you are married to a woman for more than 10 years in the millitary, she can be legally entitled to 1/2 of your pension after your divorce (as if she did 1/2 of my deployments or something…. F&*# that!)
the concept of marriage seems obsolete in this day and age unless you are a devoutly religious person.
Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?
I really love her, but if she continues to insist upon marriage then I don’t think we can stay together because I don’t see any logical benifits of marriage over my current situation. I am so adamant about it that I would rather break up than be given an ulta matum like that.
As far as marriage goes: for the man, the cons far outweigh the pros.
Can anyone think of a practical benifit of marriage that I haven’t thought of?
I’ve tried communicating with her. She is pretty obstinate and it’s hurting the relationship. i don’t think I’m being unreasonable. She is insisting that we get the legally binding document and she refuses to accept an alternative. We are at a stalemate and I don’t see any way foreward. It’s not really about the money for me. I just think that a person being held legally liable for a relationship working is a bit much. Why can’t two people just be happy in a relationship without labeling it.
I’ve offered to buy her a “commitment ring” as a symbol of my commitment but it’s just not good enough for her. She wants a wedding.
I guess you have a point. It’s just pretty sad because we were both really happy before she started with all this “marriage talk”. Part of me just wishes she could have left well enough alone. the bottom line is that she wont be happy unmarried and I wont be happy married so maybe it’s best to just go our seperate ways.
Alot of you are calling me a “pig”…. So be it. If not wanting to be legally bound to stay in a relationship until I die makes me pig then so be it.
I know this though… There are alot of “nice guys” who got married and went on 1 year deployments only to come back a find that things changed. Alot of nice guys are living on half a pension while their ex wives are living it up on the money that they bled for.
I also know alot of “nice guys” who are trapped in loveless marriages because they don’t want to go through an ugly divorce.
maybe being a ‘pig” isn’t so bad.
the bottom line is that people change and love doesn’t come with gaurantees.
Tags: 10 Years, Benefit Of Marriage, Benifit, Boyfriend Girlfriend, Committed Relationship, Costly Divorce, Cow, Current Situation, Deployments, Dignity, Free Love, Guarantee Commitment, Loveless, Marriage, Married Woman, Millitary, Money Assets, Promise Rings, Religious Person, Risk
You are a pig.
Break up with her. You both want different things. If you do her this favor she will one day find someone who would love to marry her…right now you are just wasting her time and that is unfair to her.
Marriage has absolutely nothing to do with religion. And I totally agree with the previous two answers .
If this is how you feel then you should break up with her.
Its pointless continuing a relationship if you both want different things.
PS……Im not sure what the laws are over there, but in Australia defacto relationships have the same laws as marriage, when they break up.
From a womans perspective “you’re a pig” however, you should not act on something that you are not ready for or uncomfortable with. I suggest opening up to her and expressing your true feelings about the entire situation as she will want to know every detail. If you are afarid to lose her dont be, the truth is better said then holding down a lie and reaping your mistakes further on. Dont break up with her for something as simple as wanting to get married that simply impiles that you are apathetic about the situation and unsensitive to her feelings therefore you would be a slim ball. Sorry, you ask for the truth and im not writting pure crap here!
You should definitely break up with her. She deserves better.
there is no benefit of marriage. It only means you can’t dump her or she can’t dump you without 2 years of court hassle and wasting so much money and upsetting the family. For this very obvious reason, people tolerate each other and marriage gets fake.
Well I don’t know where u live, but here in Canada if u live with someone over a year they are entitled to anything a spouse would be entitled to. It probably won’t work out between the two of u because u both have very different views on this major issue. All you are worried about is what u could lose out on if it didn’t work out, that is pretty sad. You are best to let her go now before u end up hurting her worse in the end. When u end up alone because u are so scared of what “might” happen maybe u will regret losing a woman that u love and what could have been.
Marriage actually provides even more benefits if you’re in the military. Military spouses actually earn you more money (“separation pay,” I think they call it), gets her medical benefits she may not have otherwise, and increases the housing they’ll fund. They’ll also pay to move her and your joint crap around if they move you, and some military branches offer spouses travel vouchers and other perks.
Then there’s the usual: recognition, security, tax breaks, etc. I think of it as formalizing a promise, and having the world at large hold you to it. You’re right: it’s much easier to walk out on someone you aren’t married to. I daresay that’s the whole point.
But based on the way your “question” is worded, you’re more interested in an easy out than real benefits. Do both of you a favor and cut her loose. Divorce isn’t a downside to a good marriage, but it’s inevitable with the thinking laid out in your speech.
Oink oink oink… oink!!! Oink!!!
Translation for the rest of you reading this:
You need to man up and grow up… Because you really are being a pig!!! Yes P-I-G!!!.
I agree…you are not marriage material.
You have all these reasons for not getting married and they are all rooted in the divorce.
Don’t marry this girl you are already dividing up the goods and mentally hiding your assets…aren’t you?
Break up with her it is the only human thing you can do.
Peace
Forget all your reasoning about why you think marriage is b.s.. She wants to be married, you don’t. She should leave you tomorrow and find a guy that does want to marry eventually. Stop arguing and break up, she likes apples, you like oranges. You won’t eat apples, she won’t eat oranges. It won’t work so stop trying for force it. Find a chick that doesn’t want marriage like you.
Obviously you two want different things, it is apparent that that she wants marriage and you just want to be…whatever it is you want to be. Even if you do love her, you probably won’t change and why should she waste her time on someone who doesn’t want to marry her? Both of your reasons are valid but notcompatible. Let her go so she can find someone who can give her commintment without feeling that he is losing himself.